When the Problem Is Made to Feel Like You: Understanding Gaslighting and Narcissistic Behaviour
Scroll through social media for five minutes and you'll likely come across the word gaslighting . It's everywhere right now — in comment threads, in self-help podcasts, in conversations between friends over coffee. And while some might dismiss it as a buzzword that's been overused into meaninglessness, I want to say something clearly: the fact that people finally have a name for what they've been experiencing is not a trend. It's a reckoning. Over more than two decades in educational leadership, I have worked alongside hundreds of people — colleagues, staff, managers, and peers across institutions. I have had the privilege of leading teams, mentoring professionals, and building something I'm genuinely proud of. But I have also sat across the table from people who, I eventually understood, were not operating in good faith. People who, when confronted with a difficult truth, found a way to make the truth about me instead. That's what gaslighting does. And ...